Child, a Breathing Marriage Certificate, a Pithy Review of Ayobami Adebayo’s Stay with me

Love and heartbreak? Politics and the pendulum-like political ambience? Or the exhumation of the concept of Abiku mythology? Which of these can we precisely mention as the concern of this novel? In my subjective opinion, Adebayo’s Stay with me is a perfect blend of all these pre-occupations. Published in 2017 by Canongate  Books Ltd in Britain, the book unfurls a long rope of tale that has thematic nodes of love, betrayal, polygamy, politics and marriage, focusing on the main characters of Yejide and her husband, Akin.

When Yejide marries to Akin, of course, like any other marriage, the belief is that things will be blissful. Isn’t conjugal bliss the wish that proceeds from every mouth? But the challenge rises and the only reason that Akin’s mother calls her daughter-in-law a witch is because she has not given birth to a child. Consequently,the couple become serious about matters that the parents and relatives perceive as pertaining to their lives. There comes the need for test after test and being cynic about the efficacy of one doctor and going to another. The wife, who earlier didn’t believe so much in seeking spiritual means to solving problem has been compelled to go to the mountain and pray and perform some rituals that involve breastfeeding a goat.

Of course she becomes pregnant but the doctor sees nothing. She is delusional and the husband, Akin, becomes afraid that his wife has gone mad. Yejide, on her own part ignores him and the child, the true certificate that will certify and sustain their marriage becomes her only hope.

Later, Dotun comes because he has been deported from the US, and in Lagos, he has lost his job. True, he needs to clear his head. Not long after, Yejide becomes pregnant again and a child is given birth to. The child is discovered to be of the sickle cell anaemia and efforts to keep this handsome and much-laboured-for child to live emerges, it becomes a race, a fierce one. But does this diseased certificate certify their marriage as thought?

No one is truly impeccable. Akin is quite a weak hero who makes a rash decision because of the desperate need to get a child. The decision actually breaks his home and his reason. But even if a house is demolished, can’t it be rebuilt to build a more beautiful one? The reason I love this brilliant story is not only because of the fluidly woven plot, that is, a narration of love, politics, death and polygamy, but also, it gives us the waves of lives and marriages not as a rising sea that you stay by the beach and watch but as a life experienced by some people with blood, oxygen, water and voices. It radiates with exceptional brilliance and the plot resonates in my mind.

The book is narrated in multiple voices. A voice that belongs to the author and the other two voices that belong to the main characters: Yejide and Akin. The masculinity in the male’s voice is concrete just as that of the female voice. Although some of the dialogues are written in dialects, this does not impede the message of the story.

Actually, Adebayo lacks something in her writing, that is, the ability to write a tasteless sentence. Every word in the story has its spectacle, its taste and flavour. Could you ever remain an emotional rock after reading Stay with me? The plot will stay with you forever, I bet. All in all, it’s a book I will recommend.

We write for many reasons. I write to be me.

Work Title: Roles of Leaders in the Theatre of Conflict, War and Peace on African Socio-Political, and Cultural Stages

Roles of Leaders in the Theatre of Conflict, War and Peace on African Socio-Political, and Cultural Stages

Abstract

Africa has long been the parole of conflicts, war, terrorism, et cetera, in the extensive langue of the whole world’s conflict. Consequently, this essay proposes to suggest policies and considerations that can effect and sustain peace in Africa, drawing from instances and causes of conflicts across the continent.

Keywords: Africa, Nigeria, West, Southern, Northern, Conflict, Security, Peace, Leadership.

The Theatre of Conflict and the Role of Leadership in Africa

“Conflict.” This is a word of many functions. In the realm of creative writing, it stands for a beginning, a reason to write. Its synonyms are: turmoil, war, terrorism, et cetera. The ungradable antonymous word to it is ‘Peace.’ The theatre of conflict and the attempt to end it in all axes of Africa has necessitated a discourse on peace and security.

In West Africa, the melodramatic acts of conflict can mostly be exemplified by cases of terrorist attack by the Islamist sect, Boko Haram, seated in Northern Nigeria. Cited in Wetho et al., Soyinka laments, “When you get a situation where a bunch of people can go into a place of worship and open fire through the windows, you have reached a certain dismal watershed in the life of the nation.”[1] By this, he succinctly expresses the detrimental effects of the sect on the entirety of the country; causing an overarching failure to Nigeria and countries surrounding her. The roles of leaders in the birth of terrorism in Nigeria are cogent. The allegations of corruption, gross financial misconducts, despotic and self-centred policies, against Nigerian leaders have generated anger and many complaints, not only from the terrorists but from the entire populace.

In the Horn of Africa, the presence of political disagreements and terrorist acts almost shredded the countries in the region into pieces. Healy supports:

The peace and security outlook for the Horn of Africa remains bleak. The conflict audit includes protracted state collapse in Somalia, deep hostility between Ethiopia and Eritrea, a fragile peace agreement between North and South Sudan, continuing instability in Darfur, periodic bouts of unrest in the Ogaden and northern Uganda, and two international peacekeeping operations^___ In Mogadishu and Darfur^___ struggling to contain violence.[2]

Healy shows that the causes of crises in this region of Africa are the policies of nations concerning international relations and the leaders’ penchants for megalomania.

Plus xenophobia in South Africa, the extent of conflict in Northern Africa wails for installation of peace and security across the continent. Quoting Kaplan (1994), Paul Richards illustrates that, “Islamist terror in Algeria and Egypt, and the apparently pointless destruction associated with the activities of the Lord’s Resistance Army in Uganda, are seen by some as evidence that Africa is in the grip of anarchy.”[3] Ramirez views conflict in a dimension quite different from Richard’s. To him, conflict comes in form of “vicious cycles of war, disease, and poverty…”[4] He suggests that, peace and security “should be achieved in an African way.”[5]

Peace and Security in Africa: Suggestions from a (Hypothetical) Leader

The experience I had with hunger in childhood and how I reacted to this, bitter and desperate, makes me to suggest that Africa should invest in agriculture. Besides agriculture, infrastructural development is a sure step in tackling underdevelopment and achieving peace and security.  “The concept of peace in Africa will have a meaning only when underdevelopment is tackled effectively. One can talk of conscience, moral law, and dignity of man, truth, justice, freedom, democracy, love, and free will to a well-fed and secure person and something will sink in.”[6]

The African populace is very bitter because of the self-centredness of most leaders. It has been mentioned that Nigerian senators receive the highest salary in the world. Whereas, this is a country plagued by abject poverty and living conditions that can induce violence in various hues among the commoners. Reduction in the inflated incomes of these leaders could help gaining trust from citizens and enhance peace.

Economic policies affect stability in human societies. For example, the open market policy allows countries to transact without restriction. A general currency could also be introduced to ease transactions among countries in the continent. Such development in economy nurtures friendly relations among nations. Empowering the females in Africa is also a catalyst in the growth of the continent’s economy. Sowe, cited by Ekesionye and Okolo, asserted that, “women are at the centre of development processes, and that complete and harmonious development cannot be achieved without them.”[7]

Also cultural and inter-ethnic tolerance is necessary because, “frequently we are habituated to perceive our neighbours^___ the different clans or the ethnic groups^___ as enemies who only want to make war against us…”[8] “If we want development, peace, and tolerance, we have to deepen our knowledge of the roots of aggression, intolerance, and the particular peculiarities of each people.”[9] Nationalism rather than ethnicity is a mechanism for extracting oneness from diversity and Africa needs the spirit.

Though Africa is a continent plagued by violence, no continent is a virgin of the plague. Concluding in Martin’s words:

When we assert that a sustainable development will not be possible without a peaceful world, we cannot forget that peace is something more substantial than merely the absence of war, and that prosperity cannot be limited to economic growth as a remedy, as often is the case, but it has to include something more important and not necessarily connected with the economical development^___ call it what you like: inner peace, spirituality, happiness. Some of the poor underdeveloped people are happier than the great consumers of the so-called developed world, as the rate of suicides ratifies.[10]

---

[1] Ayo Wetho et al. “’Baptism of Fire:’ Boko Haram and the Reign of Terror in Nigeria.” Africa Today, Vol 59,

          No.2 (2012) pp 43. USA: Indiana University Press. Web.

[2] Healy, Sally. “Seeking peace and security in the Horn of Africa: the contribution of the Inter-Governmental

          Authority on Development,” International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944), Vol. 87,

          No. 1 (2011), pp 105

[3] Richards, Paul. “New Political Violence in Africa,”  GeoJournal, Vol. 47 No. 3, Grid Group Cultural Theory

                (1999) pp 433. Web.

[4] Ramirez, J. Martin.  “Peace and Development in Africa,” International Journal on World Peace, Vol. 22, No. 3

                (2005) pp 51

[5]  ibid

[6]  Ibid 52

[7] Ekesionye E.N and Okolo A.N. “Women empowerment and participation in economic activities: Indispensable tools for self-reliance and development of Nigerian society.” Educational Research and Review Vol. 7(1), pp. 10-18, 5 January, 2012

[8] Ibid 71

[9] ibid

[10]  Ibid

Works Cited

Ayo Wetho et al. “’Baptism of Fire:’ Boko Haram and the Reign of Terror in Nigeria.” Africa Today, Vol 59,

          No.2 (2012) pp 43. USA: Indiana University Press. Web.

Ekesionye E.N and Okolo A.N. “Women empowerment and participation in economic activities: Indispensable tools for self-reliance and development of Nigerian society.” Educational Research and Review Vol. 7(1), pp. 10-18, 5 January, 2012

Healy, Sally. “Seeking peace and security in the Horn of Africa: the contribution of the Inter-Governmental

          Authority on Development,” International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944), Vol. 87,

          No. 1 (2011), pp 105

Richards, Paul. “New Political Violence in Africa,”  GeoJournal, Vol. 47 No. 3, Grid Group Cultural Theory

            (1999) pp 433. Web.

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ALLUVIA ON THE SHORE (for Aylan Kurdi, the drowned Syrian boy and after Sudarsan Pattnaick’s sand sculpture)

Archeology is far from the reach of my branching intellects but I know

how we created these marching molecules, this mob of liquid, this

continent of water.  I know that its creation followed the logic of addition.

A lone drop of greed was longing for fellowship with a scorching hope

when I volunteered a drop of lie, you followed suit and dropped leeching

impoverishment with generousity, the way he contributed the supersonic semen

of rape. By this, a drop grew into a trickling river, a flood that extorts

homes from owners just as insurrection that snatches authority from

Governments, they philanthroped by giving that, and it raced round the globe

like Firefox. We dropped dreaded discrimination and all matured into

a sour sea of anger, into raw war, world’s whore.

Now, let’s do the BODMAS of our ruins

without syntax errors.

= we are the alluvia of our misdeeds,

washed ashore by them and lying prone as ashamed statues,

noon sun is a scorching sincerity to our sights, and the fluorescence

of the night moon haunts us. Even stars, the fluorescent-fishes

of heaven’s ocean denude our shame.

 Alluvia on the Shore

WOMEN OF NIGERIA: PROBLEMS, PANACEA AND PROSPECTS

The weight of humans’ inhumanity to fellow humans, especially females, being targets of such trajectory, provokes revaluation of the unidirectional evolution theory and a re-conception of the nature of human existence as cyclical, like Yorubas’ cosmology. Perhaps, civilisation has reached its point of diminishing returns; one would wonder when one witnesses the gravity of brutalities done against women sometimes. Like chameleon, this violence appears in different colours. At times, it takes the crimson hue of physical assaults; sometimes, unimaginably iridescent.

Many have personally witnessed occasions where females are physically abused by their husbands or relatives. Most times when men launch violence against wives, it is over barrenness or malesness. From relatives on the other hand, it is over either the husband’s death or inheritance.

Also, culture and religion contribute heavily to the brutalities females experience in societies. They have some patriarchal conspiracy theories deliberately formulated to subjugate the female gender to the male counterpart.

In religion for instance, both Bible and Koran obviously connive and command that the wife always subject herself to the husband, care for, and sheepishly obey him.

Similarly, culture dictates many unprintable rules to women. In Yoruba culture, a wife must not relocate to the family house, no matter how hellish the husband’s house; else, she will be tagged, dálémosú, a psychologically inimical nomenclature. The culture specifically emphasises that, a wife must be deflowered by the husband; not vice versa. But one wonders, who or what defiles them when many a defiled wife doubling as a rape victim suffers psychological violence from husband and relatives. Gender difference should not define sexuality, thus, such pronouncements are blows against the humanity of the female gender. Note, every Nigerian culture has its version of female dehumanisation.

For the purpose of clarity, some illustrations will be fetched from Nigerian newspapers, the archives of realities.

In Nigerian Tribune, Yejide Gbenga writes:

“Research reveals that 25% of the women in Nigeria go through an ordeal of the domestic violence and every fourth Nigerian woman suffers domestic violence in her lifetime with the worst forms cited as battery…the victim, for a long time keeps the situation from people, protecting her abuser.”[i]

Rape is one of the attributes of animals which humans have chosen to adopt nowadays, and this births the aforementioned thought of humans’ probable attainment of point of diminishing returns in civilsation, thus, the slippery slope to animalistic practices. In September 2015, “a woman, Mrs Ogodo Egede, aged 34, was reportedly raped to death by a man she allegedly owed #1500.”[ii]

To extend this, nowadays, the news of rape and sexploitation in Nigerian tertiary institutions and societies is quotidian. Female students at all levels and institutions are not safe from the onslaught of these unruly sceptres. To evince this, The Guardian reports:

“The police statement also indicated that two people disguised as vigilantes,        collected phones and raped two female students…”[iii]

In sequel to the above, it is cogent to mention that, the hoi polloi are not the only subjects of the barbarism. However, contrary to the expected from Nigerian intellectuals, they are deeply immersed in the hideous practice.

Expectantly, Obafemi Awolowo, a Nigerian politician and political philosopher, builds a frothy, sacrosanct image of the Nigerian intellectuals; equating his expectations with qualities expected of a good leader, he writes:

“the regime of mental magnitude, properly and eminently equipped with a considerable measure of intellectual comprehension and cognition, insight and spiritual illumination. In this regime, we are free from: (1) the negative emotions of anger, hate, fear, envy or jealousy… (2) Indulgence in the wrong types of food and drinks, ostentatious consumption and (3) excessive or immoral craving for sex. In short, in this regime, we conquer what Kant calls “the tyranny of the flesh” and become free.”[iv]

Contrary to the impeccable images Awolowo carved for Nigerian intellectuals, Nigerian tertiary institutions, nowadays, are the dens of atrocities, authoritarianism and unchecked sexploitation of females. Though we find the most constant, acerbic critics of government policies among some lecturers guilty of these filthy practices, they execute the act without a speck of guilt but with the feel of immunity, while victims of these busy goads turn sufferers and smilers.

Testifying to the presence and strength of this evil, in The Nation newspaper, a columnist writes:

“However, there are quite a number of students who have suffered sexual abuses in the universities and many more who will continue to suffer sexual violence because there are no structures in place or the existing structures are not strong enough to absorb or withstand the influence of the calibre of personalities involved.”[v]

Acquired by fortune, education is seen as a means to an end of authoritarianism by this category of people.

Violence against women gains infant shock when it comes from males, compared to when females are both the subjects and direct objects of the action. Apparently, factual readings and literary fictions have shown instances of women mutilated (physically and psychologically) by fellow women. For example, Chika Unigwe’s On Black Sisters’ Street depicts occasions where dehumanisation, triggered by a woman to fellow women, serves as a technology of human trafficking as exemplified in Madam’s definition of Sisi’s identity, “…you’re persona non grata in this country. You do not exist,”[vi] she defines.

Also illustratively, The Nation newspaper reports, “the Lagos state government has taken custody of Adebimpe Badmus, the 16 year old girl allegedly burnt with an iron by her aunt, Ketu.”[vii] Worse still, the culprit had two other female accomplices.

 Symptoms of the disease of women brutalisation in Nigeria shown, there is a need to mention the causes too. The major pathogens of violence against women are: poverty, illiteracy, culture, religion, patriarchy etc

Although, chronic are the symptoms of violence against women, the malady is not incurable. To cure the disease of restless libidos, important authorities should be equipped to divest the lecturers, influential culprits and hosts of the illness, of their immunities. A columnist suggests, “it is time for civil societies to go beyond creating awareness on the ills of sexual harassment to build and strengthen institutions to fight against the immunity that some addicted lecturers enjoy.”[viii]

Furthermore, the government should make wife-empowerment a compulsion for potential husbands; institutions should be established to maintain such. For, the concept of a full-house wife is a psychological bully of women, subjugating them to forcible humility.

Plus, a law compelling very rich politicians and business tycoons to financially assist charity institutions that succour females should be executed. It is apparently scarce that a well-to-do mother gives her child to another family for nurturing.

Besides formal education and skill acquisitions at grassroots levels, females should also be trained in martial arts for the purpose of self-defence.

Moreover, Ombudsman could have an application which females can use on smartphones to report cases of violence, in addition to spending to embark on (risky) journeys to their offices. It should also serve guidance purpose on the basis of self-defence.

Relevance lies in upholding the Rule of Law so that the perpetrators (of any status), faces the music, constitutionally. Without this, proliferation of violence against women should rather be anticipated.

Besides violation of women, the country could be in mess should the government remain calm when pro-activeness is needed. At least, the abduction of the Chibok girls would have been prevented, were the concerned authorities pro-active.

The recommended solutions for the purpose of annihilating female brutalisation followed, some additional problems are simultaneously addressed, perhaps accidentally. Some child marriages are birthed by parents’ poor state or tyranny of some paedophile. Women being empowered, there may be reduced reasons to give their precious wards out for early marriages. 

Also, if the rule of law is upheld, tyranny will be shamed.

Another prospect involves the boosting of Gross Domestic Product (GDP) by the goods and services women acquire and sell. Their wealth keeps the violent aloof and fertilises the economy to an extent.

The axiom, health is wealth is widely accepted because they complement each other.  Thus, with skills, which create wealth, women can purchase health.

In summary, this essay has touched several forms and appearances of violence against women with illustrations from life experiences, newspapers and literatures. It has stated the causes, treatments and the prospects of such treatments, encapsulating women and the country at large.

In conclusion, a committed attempt to terminate violence of any kind: physical, psychological etc, against women is symptomatic of the country’s desires for greatness; since males need females for reproduction, our fatherland needs these mothers for progression.

OLADIMEJI DAMILOLA JOSEPH

WORKS CITED

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[i] Nigerian Tribune. No. 16,675 (13thJanuary, 2017): pp23

[ii] The Nation, Vol 9. No 3330, (6th September, 2015)

[iii] The Guardian Vol 33. No 13,887 (5th January, 2017): pp 44.

[iv] Wiredu, Korasi et al. “Post-independence African Political Philosophy.” A Companion to African Philosophy Ed.                 Oxford: Blackwell Publishing Limited (2004): pp 247

[v] Ibid, pp 5

[vi]  Unigwe, Chika. On Black Sisters’ Street. London: Vintage, (2009):pp 182, print.

[vii] Ibid,  vol 10. No 3339. (16th September, 2015): pp 53.

[viii] Ibid, vol 9. No. 3330 (6th September, 2015): pp 15.Women and Society

BUSTED BABE (Longlisted for Adhocfiction International Flash Fiction Prize)

Apart from your charming hair and ebony skin, one other thing that attracted me to you was your English which defied the Queen’s. ‘Driver, driver! A tyre has busted,’ you said, staring at me like I were the driver or some Messiah. The motor swerved and our bodies collided. Like you wanted me to confirm your prowess, ‘a tyre has busted!’ You yelled again. The word you meant, I had heard iridescent pronunciations of it: beasted, bested, and busted, like yours. So my surprise was little.

I looked into your eyes, seeking fright, but fire-flies burst light of love and I knew I had busted my busty babe. When the bus stopped, you smiled like I was offloading honey into your heart as I whispered, ‘b-u-r-s-t, burst, not b-u-s-t. Remember to always swallow your –ed at the end of the word.’ Abruptly, your face clouded, rage burst

OLADIMEJI DAMILOLA.

Visit: adhocfiction.com/read to read and vote for this title

BUSTED BABE

ONCE UPON A SUICIDE MISSION

Two agents on a mission swim stealthily into a cave where it does not dawn to assassinate the resident of the cave. They needn’t light their way, it isn’t crooked. Straight. Ordinarily, anything H₂O should not touch them if they want to remain alive and solid. But it is the best method, to have them diffused by the pool.  So, this is their first and last bath. As the cave feels them journeying down slowly, towards the apartment of the unwanted resident, the agents dissolve gradually.

The target smuggles itself in during social night, when the cave is in a game of hide and seek with another cave that releases millions of its viscous occupants like Israelites from Egypt, through a vascularised tunnel and at the point of diminishing returns.

For four months, the target has been surreptitiously living therein, preventing itself from marking any footprint that can get it trailed and busted. When in the fourth month the cave starts feeling its presence; she decides to send these two agents who plan to rush into the mouth of the target through the straw by which it feeds. This day, the target is fasting, the agents fail and do not return to tell the tale. The cave feels severe stomach ache for days and hopes the target will soon be exiled but, no.

A month after this, the cave goes to a hospital to meet the doctor with whom she has had an appointment but he is undergoing autopsy himself. On the way home, she is hit by a frivolous car and hospitalised. Two months consecrated for the cave’s healing climb the presence of the unwanted tenant. So, alive, happy and crying, it comes out.

OLADIMEJI DAMILOLA

ONCE UPON A SUICIDE MISSION